The world began to cave in on me
as everything grew distant
stuck in a place I no longer wanted to see, I yearned for a touch that wasn't consistant
I would give my everything for that touch
even losing myself
just for my all to still not be enough
my words would no longer hold value
as there was nothing I could say
my thoughts became hopeless
like that of a lost child who thought to bust his gun was the only way
I begged to understand, my heart became numb
until I stumbled across something that was grand
no longer feeling deaf, blind, dumb
I found something greater than wealth
I was able to discover and understand SELF.
My dreams as a child were hopeless
as I confided in the beliefs of Satan
using me as his puppet, I was dumb as he always wanted
keeping me dumb because he knew I had more power
as long as he kept me blind
he continued to control my mind
praising him when in reality he was praising me
holding the truth from me as its been for thousands of years
until the sun suddenly shined and made sense
I then realized I was god
he no longer could control me because he already knew
I was just last to find out.
Written in hotel in the Mountains
As my isolated thoughts
turn to it's flourishing misery
I'd dwell in this beautiful estate
where those questions of origins
suddenly become familiar
as I could only imagine
true Kings and Queens
who spoke nothing but truth
on a quest for their words to be heard
suddenly robbed by thieves
living off animal instinct
using their power for greed
Balancing the evils and happiness of our fondest memories
How does one maintain solitude in a world of misery?
From the many animals slaughtered and force fed
To the mothers who lose their children from constant bloodshed
It is indeed the devils playground
How can one survive in a world where death and disaster is the only thing bound?
I know if god wanted to change this then he would
So I question if god truly understood
How one could live at a respectable distance from evil
When outside all u see is the struggling, lost souls of your people.
Living to Suffer
If the only thing promised is death
Then why are we living to suffer
Gasping for breath
Nothing lasts forever
This I know 2 be true
So am I living to see?
Or living to die
In exchange 2 be free for eternity
A man will die a thousand times
Before letting go of his pride
Wandering searching for the signs
We put pride first
And everything else we hide
Tough is what we have to B
Our life is trivial
Even a blind man would say he can see
Pride only hurts
And never brings tranquility.
In the corner of my heart
My loneliness sank
As if my soul ripped apart
With a mind that is blank
I see people enjoying one another
And I sit back and wonder
Am I a dead man being eaten by a crow?
do I exist?
Or am I just a shadow?
When my eyes close 4 me 2 rest
I lay in dignity
Knowing I did my best
May the frowns I've created
Turn 2 smiles
And the birds sing their song
Ever so beautifully, flying
for miles and miles.
Mountain of foundation
Sometimes I find myself lying on the edge of a mountain
in a quick glance this could all be over
I use this mountain as a shoulder to dry my tears
I travel this far to lean on it
cuz I know nobody is near
till the moonlight turns to sunshine
i'll lay here looking at the city in the distance
everything will be fine
as long as I show up to this mountain with persistence.
Dance with the Devil
When the sun goes down
she dances with the wolves
draped in her beautiful gown
when the moon appears full
she dances all night with a frown
Her hair is jet black
beautiful and pure
but confidence is what she lacks
she's a flower waiting to bloom
with a dark side that likes to howl at the moon
I hear sometimes she dances with the devil
and they share a lust for sin
but she's just special
he loves the way her hair blows in the summer wind
they say that's no good to be playin with fate
but here she feels free
when she dances on this estate.
Give me a sign
I need to talk to god
sometimes I talk
but I don't know if he listening
and maybe he mad
cuz sometimes I question his existence
I know I let him down
when I'm low
is the only time I come around
but I guess this is my way of showing
so where do we go?
after we sin
do we have time to grow?
or is it true that heaven got a ghetto?
Night 2 Remember
We stayed up all night
said a lot of words
we spilled wine
stains cover your white blouse
I could say I'm falling again
but I know this will not last
lets bathe in lust
and tomorrow live in the past.
I've seen a side of u that is heartless and cold
After all the time we shared
To think our memories would soon fold
And I'd see the day u no longer cared
My words would no longer hold value
Wishing I could just crawl into your arms
Forced in a place where I'm stuck
Your words now cause harm
Now everyday sucks
Because you chose to not give a fuck.
Sometimes I talk
Sometimes I don't talk at all
Sometimes awkward silence is better than noise
Sometimes I like to remember
and sometimes rememberin just aint no fun.
Fire of the unknown
The unknown is the biggest weapon of fear
the endless possibilities
a man with a gun
could scare god himself
Holding the fire of the unknown.
Days I longed for your touch or to hear your voice
it is now I rejoice
and turn the page from those rainy days
I was just a boy learning to be a man
and it is now I truly understand
to heal all wounds
before the damage spreads rampant
u are the dream I always imagined
I know this because I didn't realize at first when it happened
I thank u for all the joy and the pain too
because through it all it lead me closer to u.
I know how it feels to die
my eyes once gleamed at the sky
back when I felt alive
my heart lingers to feel joy like hollywoods fame
all I've lived is a life filled with pain
quick to look for someone to blame
instead of looking in the mirror
which is the cause of all this rain.
all things come to an end
then I rather just be
to prevent what could have been
and deep down I know they do
so it'd tear me apart
to stare at u
knowing we r promised to be apart
I would care 4 u 2 dearly
to leave u with a broken heart.
2 go crazy
I'd go crazy
tossing and turning for days
longing for peace in my mind
that night I drove miles just to see u
I promised to hold u like it was my last
trying to forget what's in the past
but u said things
I would never say to u.